when sleep deprivation meets crazy schedule

I’ve been absent from here because I’ve been devoting my time and energy to tying up all of the loose knots I left in North Carolina.  But I can’t stop thinking about posts that I want to write…just as soon as I have time…because, despite all of the physical work that needs to be done here, I know that I’ve been emotionally and mentally working.  Right now, though, I’m tired.  And it’s the kind of tiredness that makes taking yoga off of the mat especially hard.  I’m tired, I’m stressed, and I seem to be easily irritated.  Compassion?  What’s that?  These are not qualities that I like to possess but shaking them is hard because, well, I’m tired.

(Sense a theme here?)

Sitting at my kitchen counter-top with my Jimmy Johns veggie sandwich in one hand and the collected writings of Thich Nhat Hanh in the other, I found a bit of respite during today’s lunch.  I read a passage emphasizing being present – fully present – in the moment, regardless of what mundane activity you’re doing, and I remembered.  Yes, it is in the present I can find peace.  In my past I find wisdom, amazement, even shame.  In my future I see excitement, anxiety, adventure.  But here, in the present, I can find peace even if it involves picking up my roller and deliberately painting all of these walls.  Wait…anxiety crept in with that thought…all of these walls!  Plus edging!  Peace, my dear, peace.  Try being a little present.  Try to limit feeling frenetic.  Just pick up the roller and paint.  Here.  In the present.

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